“You think you know me.” Cropped tee

Honestly, I'd rather live long and become the villain than dying a hero. The problem with that is I don't want to be ready to become that, but it's ready for me. Been patiently waiting for me to accept the offer. I just wanted things to go my way, so I'm guessing that's how I would get what I want. If I decide to become the villain, would I still have my birds flying with me to the end still? Will I just be chilling like a villain or actually hurting people because I'm hurt like a villain? Even wanting to break this cycle has been stressing me out just thinking about the outcomes that come with it. Why people won't just get with the program the first time?